The Mist aka How NOT to Make a Movie

How do you make a movie like The Mist? You think you are really smart, your audience is really dumb and you get some dry ice.

To say I hated The Mist is not true.

There are no words for the magnitude of hatred that movie has stirred up in me. I am literally physically agitated as I type this because of how bad this movie was. I don't even like to say the name of the film and I left the theatre less than an hour ago.

The last movie I violently hated was League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and praise be to God that most of that film has been extinguished from my head. I can only pray that time will do the same to the past two hours I spent in the theatre.

Going into The Mist I knew it had gotten bad reviews, but I thought there were two options: 1) the reviewers didn't get the movie and it might actually be a diamond in the rough or 2) it would at least be entertainingly bad. I was wrong on both counts.

Never before have I had to stop myself from screaming "How dumb are you people!" at the screen. And I have seen some crap not worthy to have the film stock melted down into guitar picks.

The wost part is I think everyone involved with the film thought that by comitting so wholly to the concept they were actually making something good. However, this film was so telegraphed that a blind & deaf man could have saw his way to the next plot point.

There's giant monsters outside and oh my gosh, we've baracaded ourselves inside a store that has one entire side made out of glass! What if the monsters get in! There's a religious fnantic that thinks God's wrath is upon us! Is she crazy or is she right? There's a military base in town and the rumors are that they conduct top secret research there, what if they have something to do with the mist??? Oh gee, people are dying and more are going to die if they listen to the crazy religious wacko! They're going to start turning on each other and the wacko is going to develop a god-complex.

Of the many terrible scenes in the movie a few stand out. First when a character commits suicide the "sane" characters in the film band together and paint the verbal poster of the film. They actually discuss the fact that when people are scared they do stupid things, and the religious wacko is getting more and more followers and they'll do anything she says, and we can die here or die trying to escape...on and on. They rant about the political system too and how it's created because of fear. Uh huh, that's how subtly they hint at the fact that this horror film is also a ploitical commentary.

Then there's a scene where a few brave souls venture into the pharmacy next door. As they enter they realize the door was unlocked and phew no giant man-eating bugs got in here, we're just going to pretend the enormous spider webs covering everything are left over Halloween decorations or something. And oh, they also meet a nearly-dead MP who is alive enough to tell them that he's sorry and this is all their fault right before he dies of spider-related causes.

Technically, I couldn't even enjoy Frank Darabont, the way the film was shot or even the score.

The direction was horifically poor, Darabont was trying to be "gritty" and raw but he obviously sucks at it and thought that framing his shots dirtily would help that feeling. Not to mention the script. This is the kind of script you expect if you hand a short story to a bunch of tenth grade english students. Then finally, the film was nearly devoid of music until the las act when our "heroes" escape and suddenly this Enya-esque music kicks in for the remainder of the film.

By the way, I truly laughed a loud when five minutes before the movie ended the car they were escaping in ran out of gas - the movie ran out of gas a long time ago.

Deck the Halls

Glitz
Originally uploaded by mrbosslady

It's the day after Thanksgiving and it is now oficially okay to deck the halls with baughs of holly and all the rest of the trimmings. My family goes a little nuts...our tiny condo ends up glitzed to the hilt and I'm pretty sure you could see the lights on our garage alone from space. Of course in true southern California tradition the day we put our outdoor decorations up the santa ana winds kick in.

Want to see lots of holiday glitz with no effort? Check out Disneyland (the image of the tree is their tree on Main Street USA).

'Tis the Season - Almost

California Christmas
Originally uploaded by mrbosslady

My father nearly gave me a heart attack today when he called and told me that he and my mother had put up the Christmas tree already. Take that moment. That's right, it's only November 17. Thanksgiving is not until this Thursday.

Thankfully it is not decorated, but the dang thing is up and ready for deorating. My parents bought a new tree this year and decided they might as well put it up.

As someone currently in retail, please be nice to your sales clerks this year. We're already getting abused enough and have been listening to the music a lot longer than you have.

Random Quote #2 of many...

"It's Disney, the mouse doesn't have genitals remember!"

Robin Williams
Inside the Actor's Studio

WGA Continues

Puppetmasters of "The View"
Originally uploaded by lchance

Day 4 of the strike. The studios are not yet ready to work with the writers. The sad part for all is that some wonderful TV shows are shutting their doors, possibly forever. Please studios, work it out.

WGA Strike

img597.jpg
Originally uploaded by aboutmattlaw

The studios didn't listen and it has begun. The WGA has begun their strike today and I think I'd join the picket line if I could even through I'm not in the industry yet.

Have fun not getting your live late night shows tonight, and if things aren't resolved in a few weeks we're all going to remember why the networks started bringing back scripted shows after the reality TV boom a few years ago.

Random Quote # 1 of Many

"Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die."

Hagrid
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Nightmare Before Christmas

For the second year in a row Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas has come back to theatre's in 3D. And yes, for the second year in a row I have gone and partaken in the studio's ploy to milk that film for money without ever having to put much money back into it.

What can I say? Every time the chorus of This is Halloween begins to swell I feel as giddy as the teen I was when I first saw Nightmare (when it was frowned upon by my parents).

The sad part is what fascinates me most is an unfinished theory about the subtext of the film that I develop more and more every time I watch the movie.

The Nightmare Before Christmas is about Jack's mid-life crisis and his search for God/faith - something more to believe. He becomes the instant convert who thinks works are what he needs and when that fails he finally realizes that he's been trying to do too much instead of letting the faith lead him. In the end the mid-life crisis is solved, Jack has his faith and vigor renewed and he's even better than before.

Film school did a number on me. But I love it.