24.9.09

Hotels!!!


DSC_0510
Originally uploaded by shine_blitz_on
So I already started to try and book my hotel for Comic-Con next year and already nothing is available!

This leads me to believe that Con was able to pre-book more rooms for 2010 so I will have to book through the Comic-Con website again.

I just hope I end up randomly in a cool hotel again like the one this year. I thought I would be really upset that we didn't end up in downtown, but it was kind of nice to be able to take the trolley everywhere. I kinda loved it...

23.9.09

Old Memories

I used to spend hours creating entries for blends challenges online; I finally stopped when I just ran out of time and film school took over. But I loved doing it.

I found some of the files on my computer last night and I was rather impressed at my ameture art skills. So impressed in fact I felt like posting a few here.

I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed rediscovering them.





17.9.09

Seek Week: Thursday - Trusting God


Control
Originally uploaded by Gabriela Camerotti
I know that the only way I am ever going to become a director is if I trust in God and let Him make it happen, and I know that I can’t do anything to actually force it to happen. It’s all God not me. Yet, even though I can say this I also know that part of me cannot let it go and hand it over to God. I want to micromanage it.

I am guarding my movie like a hawk, planning where to send it, being heart broken over the festivals is doesn’t get into, stressing over my lack of an agent and my lack of options. I know I shouldn’t be. I can’t let go.

I would like to let go, but even as I say this a part of me struggles with it.

I know God is faithful. I need to let Him be.

Seek Week: Wednesday - Lament to God

I know I should be thankful for everything God had given me.

I have a family that would bend over backwards to help me. My parents can drive me nuts, but at the end of the day I have to thank you God for giving me these two loving people that I know just want me to excel at following You and being me. They provide me a place to live that I can afford, help me when I am in over my head and make me laugh more than should be possible. I am blessed with an actual relationship to my parents that consists of more than just blood, but has happy memories, times we’ve bonded over good and bad, and a support that is based on a love of You and each other. They are what you’ve provided to keep me going.

My friends have come through for me in ways I never thought possible. They helped me make my movie. They helped me when I had no job. They love me even when I am annoying. You’re given me a group of friends that shares a love for You and strengthens me because of it. You’ve also given me a group of friends that doesn’t know You; because of them I am constantly reminded of the goodness and love in all things You have created and how even through all they do for me they still need you so badly. You have let them see Your light through me and I hope that one day You will bring them out of darkness.

I feel like I should not be as dissatisfied with my life as I am. I am trying to reorient my thinking because I know You are faithful.

God, I hate my job. I go every day and get more depressed. As great as some of my co-workers there are, it feels like it chips away at me more every day and I am reminded over and over again that this is not my purpose.

I want to direct God. I want it so badly it becomes painful not to do it. But it must not be Your time for it to happen yet and I don’t understand why.

I feel like a failure in so many ways. It’s been five years since I graduated college and I feel like I am in the same place I was then. I still live at home. I can’t afford not to. I’ve been making the same hourly wage in jobs I don’t like for over three years. I’m still single with no remote prospects on the horizon. The boys I don’t like or can’t like are the ones that come after me.

I’m twenty seven and it looks like my future is never going to come. It feels like no matter what I do nothing changes and nothing ever gets better.

God, I know You are faithful. I know You can do anything, make my life anything. But I feel adrift and unable to fight against the current.

15.9.09

Seek Week: Tuesday - God's Voice

I went to film school at California State University Long Beach; it’s a school and program that I now love and am so incredibly thankful for, but I went into it kicking and screaming. You see I was going to go to film school at UCLA, or even USC – Long Beach was my back up school, and no one with great grades and stellar recommendations goes to their backup school.

I applied to the film major at the top film schools in California as a transfer student, after three years at a community college. I was terrified because I felt a huge push from God onto my path of film directing and I had no idea what I was doing; I was still even wary of telling people I wanted to go into film. I thought they would laugh at me and tell me I was kidding myself, which they did but that too became a part of my journey. The pull was strong enough from God that even though I was on wait lists at Chapman & USC I chose to go on to Long Beach, trusting that God put me in the place that He wanted me and I was fully expecting to hate it and spend two years at an inferior film school, taught by professors who were teaching because they couldn’t be doing, and hating that I couldn’t be at my dream school.

I should have known never to question God.

From minute one on campus I was in love. I felt like I was finally where I was supposed to be, I was finally learning what I was supposed to be doing and for the first time in my life I was utterly comfortable in my own skin. God had planted me in a place that caused me to excel. He put me in a program that was better than I had ever anticipated and one that taught me more than I ever thought I could learn. Because God sent me to Long Beach I met people, saw movies and had experiences that I never would have had otherwise and I am a different person, a different artist for it.

I spent two wonderful years at Cal State University Long Beach. During those two years I felt God’s presence in a way that I haven’t felt since; it was so clear and sure that I never had any doubts about what I was doing or where He was taking me. In fact, I felt it so strongly and so uniquely that I have been trying to recapture it ever since I graduated in 2005.

Since leaving Long Beach I’ve felt God speak to me, but in much smaller and more subtle ways than he did for those two years. I still know that I am on the right path, and He is guiding me, but I am learning a new lesson now. Instead of learning how to go where I don’t want to be, I think I am learning about how to wait for His time and not mine. This lesson is a long one and if I am being honest one that I hope will end soon, but my faith is such that I will continue to go, to wait, and to hold everything in as open a hand as possible until I feel God call me in another direction and that has not happened yet.

11.9.09

9.9.09

Hair Musings

I have naturally curly hair and what most people don't realize is that if you want to wear your hair curly there are not a lot of style examples to pull from. What do I mean? Think of your average fashion magizine and what types of hair do you see on the models when they are not grossly exagerated - Stick straight or artificial curls. Not even a natural wave in the bunch.

My hair also tends to do what I call poodling when it gets shorter. I think that term sounds like what it means. As such I haven't had my hair short since I was in junior high and I cut it all off in a boy cut - scratch taht - I cut it all off once more my freshman year in college and was sooo disturbed by it that I let it grow until my third or fourth year in college. It was half way down my back and insanely curly.

Anyway, I used to straighten my hair a lot or simply pull it back all the time. I've lost the fight against my curly hair. It won and I've decided I have to deal with it. So I am trying to work with the curl and I am learning new things and mainly what works for me. I think I am liking my hair better than I used to.

This all being said, I have been in LOVE with bobs since I was a kid and have never been able to get one. My new favorite - the angled bob. I saw a girl at church on Sunday that had one and her hair was a lot like mine, I now want that hair. I want to see if I can do it. And so I began an internet search. Again I found a lack of inspiration pictures but I found a few....

Amazingly I can't find a picture of anyone with a curly angled bob from the front, but I found lots of sides. If my hair can look like the below I kind of want to see if I can pull it off...I have a few weeks to decide if I am brave enough to do this. But then again, it's been a really long time since I made a genuinely stupid hair mistake...maybe it's time to make one again?

5.9.09

Random Quote #46 of Many...

Cop: I can put you in Queens on the night of the hijacking.
Hockney: Really? I live in Queens. Did you put that together yourself, Einstein? What, do you got a team of monkeys working around the clock on this?"

The Usual Suspects

4.9.09

I'm a Survivor

This rose has survived on my desk for over a week. It was given to me by a coworker a day I was out sick so it spent a good 24 hours chilling on my keyboard sans water until I came in the next day.

I chopped a little off the bottom, plopped it in an old water bottle and it's been perky ever since. It only just started to wilt some yesterday. I however am fascinated and going to see how long I can keep it alive.

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