4.3.08

Wall Flower


Doc's Day 58
Originally uploaded by mrbosslady
I'm the middle sibling of 3, the only sister of 2 brothers.

Both of my brothers are giddy in love. One of them I am genuinely happy for, the other I am attempting to reach being genuinely happy for.

Though they appear to be far from the actual event they ar both talking about their girls being their future spouses and even talking of their weddings. They talk about all of this with anticipation. A new interest has come into their lives and it is amazing.

When events come up phrases like "I'm only going to go if 'the girlfriend' can make it", and "I don't know, Saturday is date night" continually pop up and make me feel like an eternal spinster. Dispensation is made for the boys because they have an obligation, but it's never even a question that I will go to whatever family and friends want me at, and an expectation that I will be uncomfortable and lonely once there because I will be the only one out of puberty there by myself.

This is an amazing thing for both of them; yet, here I am the continual wall flower stuck on the sidelines with no prospects of even someone who wants to take me to coffee. I've never had anything that has consisted of more than one date.

Good things come to those who wait. But when? When do you stop waiting?

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