Pattern

I'm at that point where I am really tired of life right now. Not in the I'm crazy and should be watched so I don't off myself kind of tired of life, but the nothing ever changes and I'm really bored kind of tired of life.

I need to change my pattern.

I need to figure out what I do wrong in the relationship area of life. The boys I like never know that I exist. I remain in this genderless friend state until a pretty girl walks along and they jump into a relationship with them and forget we were ever even friends.

I need to figure out what I need to do to be recognized as a filmmaker. I am tired of going from job to job that has nothing to do with my passion. There is onyl one thing that I really want to do in my life and I want to get around to doing it.

I need to figure out what I need to do to stop doubting myself.

I know that I am strong enough to conquer all of this. God made me that way. I just feel way to lost to figure out how to tackle any of it.