I know that the only way I am ever going to become a director is if I trust in God and let Him make it happen, and I know that I can’t do anything to actually force it to happen. It’s all God not me. Yet, even though I can say this I also know that part of me cannot let it go and hand it over to God. I want to micromanage it.
I am guarding my movie like a hawk, planning where to send it, being heart broken over the festivals is doesn’t get into, stressing over my lack of an agent and my lack of options. I know I shouldn’t be. I can’t let go.
I would like to let go, but even as I say this a part of me struggles with it.